Flashback! Max's Birth

I'm flashing back 4 months. I started this blog after Maggie was born and I was excited to share Maggie's story then. Now it's Max's turn.

After this post, it was Easter Sunday and my contractions decided to stay steady, about 3-5 minutes apart, but all day they were mild. I didn't have to breathe through them but I wanted to be home taking time to relax and focus. Hubby took Maggie to his parents for brunch and I stayed home and ate, knit, and watched this movie. It was perfect. I had forgotten that the main character was named Max. I took it as a sign.

Maximillian is the full name I wanted early on in my pregnancy (and prior when Maggie was a he/she in utero) but hubby thought it was too strong or something. He'd joke that in order to have a son with that name we'd need to be living in a castle as a royal family. It wasn't until after Max was born that we decided on his full name. We knew it was going to be Max, but Maximillian or Maxson? We went with Maxson. If not Maximillian, this was a good substitute. Unique and we could agree.

**Side note: I hear Maximillian slip? out of people's mouths though when they are with Max so maybe that name will always be around? Hmm...

My mild contractions stayed steady through the night and woke me up a couple times but I was able to fall back asleep each time. When I woke up Monday morning, I knew it was "the day". My sister, who had been waiting fervently for this day to come, was in touch and came over to help with whatever I needed. As the morning progressed, my contractions got stronger but I was still able to function, eat, take a shower and dress, and hug my little girl in the sunshine.

By the time Maggie had to go to gym class, it was clear I shouldn't leave the house but I was still talking like I could do errands and was telling hubby not to come home from work yet. I became focused on having the perfect candle for the birth and then panicked because the one I wanted was all used up and I wanted a replacement, pronto! I was thinking I could run out and get it but nope, that didn't happen. My mom stopped at the salon on her way over to bring me this beloved candle, but they were closed. Funny what I focus on in those final hours.

My sister took Maggie to gym and brought home thai food for a late lunch. By the time she got home around 2 pm, my midwives had come and gone after blowing up the new tub (see below - in my opinion, so much better than the horse trough!) and doing some other prepping for the birth. Hubby had just gotten home too. He knew it was time more than I was willing to admit. We talked on the phone as he was driving home and I had to stop and breathe through a strong contraction. He made fun of me later for this because I was still saying on the phone that he shouldn't come home yet because my contractions weren't strong enough.

Maggie fell asleep for a nap after lunch and my sister, Michael, and I hung out together in my living room having some good laughs as my contractions ramped up in strength. She and I had a glass of white wine (midwife recommended :-) and then I took an epsom salt bath to relax with hubby by my side. These were the hours leading up to my active labor. Around 4 pm, my sister called my mom to have her leave work at my dad's furniture store and come over. By the time my mom arrived, somewhere between 5 and 6 pm, I was in my bikini top and yoga pants walking through the house breathing through my contractions and really focusing, relying heavily on my sister and Michael for support. The midwives arrived and filled up the tub. By 6, I was in the tub and in full labor.

While I labored in my bedroom in a calm atmosphere, Maggie had woken up and would come in occasionally, whispering and being so cute, but she also spent time with my mom and sister in the other parts of the house proceeding on like normal - eating dinner, watching her shows, and having things explained to her about what was going on. She was a trooper and so excited to meet her brother.
My labor progressed fast, much faster than my labor with Maggie. I knew that as I was in it, but it just suprised me overall. I was more aware during Max's birth because it didn't take as much out of me, but I was still tired in between contractions and remember falling asleep a time or two. The first time I was checked after getting in the tub, I was a 6 and that was encouraging. By 8:30 I was ready to push and my midwives said from the time I was ready to the time he arrived, it took me 20 minutes. I remember thinking that I didn't want this to go into the night (like past midnight because it went waaaay past that with Maggie) but was mentally preparing for something longer since that was all I knew. But just like that, my midwife would say something or do something like put on gloves and change positions and the next thing I knew I was in transition and Max was born! It was 9 pm on the dot. Born April 9. Weight? 9# exactly!

A friend asked me after Max's birth if it was anything like Maggie's. It was in that they were both born at home in the water with the same midwives and people surrounding me, but in many ways Max's birth was easier and more enjoyable simply because I'd done it once before. I knew what to expect with labor and delivery, it was much shorter, I knew how to handle the contractions better, I loved the new tub (so comfortable), hubby was more relaxed, Maggie made the experience sweeter just by being there, and I just felt better prepared all around.  

Max came out wailing and the midwives commented that he had a strong set of lungs. He started nursing right away and he was really aware, opening up his hands as you can see in this picture (not clenching them), which the midwives said was also a good sign that he was comfortable/not scared in his big new surroundings. Foretelling signs of his strong personality? He was born a few days before my mom's birthday. He's an Aries like my mom and mother-in-law.

Read this birth story for more fun. It's wonderful and so similar to mine. Very thankful for homebirths and great birth stories.

Marvelous Max

Maxson Oliver Meza is here! He came into the world this past Monday at 9 pm, 9 lbs, and the date was April 9! Had a great birth that came on all on it's own! and have been taking the week to stay home, get rest, and adjust to being a family of four. Can't wait to write out his birth story but my snippets of alone time are far and few between right now. I had a great 2nd homebirth with my labor time cut in half (~ 4-5 hours). We think Max looks a lot like his sister Maggie when she was born. He's a great nurser but my you-know-whats have taken a beating this week :-) I look forward to resuming my routine once I gain a little more confidence in getting out of the house, especially without hubby's help. Many thanks go out to all of our family and friends that have supported us through this so far with cards, comments, meals (this is HUGE), gifts, and special visits.

Argh

I'm not sure it's possible to not get your expections up for when to expect a baby, but I was getting excited this past week thinking we were near and now it doesn't seem so. I was hoping with the full moon yesterday that things would really get going but nope! I really do appreciate family and friends staying in contact, but it is also wearing to not have news and to repeat the chain of events over and over. Today I woke up teary-eyed and frustrated so I'm working on adjusting my mindset to post due date and the fact that I could go many more days. My midwife assured me the baby will be born (as opposed to stay inside FOREVER) and I believe it was this many days after Maggie's due date that my water broke as well as the same day that I had a breakdown in the morning and had called an acquaintance for support, so maybe that is a good sign. Today my plan is to get out of my mind, enjoy the sunshine, and my family.

Two foot pig

Excuse the preggo top, it was hot during our backyard picnic!

I'd like to say it's new baby week but since that hasn't happened yet, it's Easter week. I'm loving the occasional rain and green everywhere. The spring garden is started and we're getting more plants for our front yard. Maggie loves to help garden so for Easter, since it's been back in the recesses of my mind until a few days ago, Maggie is going to enjoy some new gardening supplies with just a smidge of candy (jelly beans and a cadbury egg) in her Easter basket the morning of. She did all things Easter at her daycare this week and yesterday we hammered out the egg hunt with our mommy's group as I waddled around after her.

For the past few days, I've had small bouts of contractions/cramping but no real labor yet. I can't complain but I am getting anxious. This time off being home and free to do what I want has been amazing and I just keep checking things off the the big to-do list. I know all of our family and friends are so excited to meet the new baby, but he still seems snuggly in there despite all the rolling around and hiccupping. I don't think I have any more room in there though and I'm feeling pretty big and have quite the appetite when not feeling nauseous.


I finished Maggie's pig and while he is dang cute, I noticed as I was sewing his eyes on that I made a mistake. He's got two feet, not four! The instructions were vague and even though they said sew the legs up individually, I just proceeded on. To my 3-year old, she doesn't know the difference. All that matters, and it makes my heart sing, is that she loves her piggy and tells everyone that I made it for her. So two legs it is because for the life of me I can't find the end of the yarn to re-do them.

One Down...

I finished a knitting project! Now I need a tiny head to put it on. This little hat is called the tri-peak and I made it with Brooks Farm Four Play (50% wool/50% silk). Pretty soft and I like the variegated striping.

Just participated in a Busy Bag Swap with my mom's group and I now have 13 different busy bags for Maggie to enjoy and learn from. I might pull one or two out now, but the majority I'm saving for those moments after the birth when I really need them (I hear nursing and keeping a preschooler busy at the same time can be challenging).

Crazy week

Not sure if the full moon has had anything to do with it, but our life turned crazy Monday and I've been hearing it all around this week. I've been crampy for a couple weeks now with it getting more intense some mornings. Labor feels pretty close. Among trying to wrap things up at work so that I can take leave and just keeping on top of the daily stuff, we were hit with Maggie having a pretty bad asthma attack two nights ago that led into the morning. Hubby has suspected this for awhile as he has the same problem and recognizes the signs but I was thinking cold/cough again. Not sure where winter was this year (I keep thinking we'll get more rain and cold weather still), but the arrival of spring has snuck in and brought back allergy season with it. The white and pink blooms and a bit of wind are off the hook.

I spent many hours at the doctor yesterday with a pretty sick kid on my hands but the treatments they gave her made her perk right up. It felt good to take care of her and see her get better through the course of the day. And now we're having a really good night of sleep after a really bad one so I am thankful for that. The result though is she has to take some regular medicine for the asthma but I'm glad we have this over not knowing why she was getting sick and often. This is linked with the allergy signs we've noticed over the past few years.

I have a long to-do list that is constantly on my mind and I'm slowly checking things off. I joked yesterday that this baby is going to come and we'll be sleeping with him in our bed (which would have happened anyway), taking diapers out of the box after his birth, and digging through paper bags full of hand-me down clothes once he arrives. This is not the type of prepared I was hoping to be but whatever happens, I know he will arrive into our household safe and warm. Planning is great but things don't always go the way you think they will.

Uh Oh

Up another early morning not able to sleep after Maggie needed help going to the bathroom in the middle of the night and my mind activated again. I feel the days getting very close and I feel unprepared. In the last week, I've experienced lots of changes in my pregnancy and the signs are pointing to labor being a few days away to still being out 2-4 weeks. I was ok initially with being at work until that point, now I feel like hunkering down and staying close to home if my days are numbered. I will probably go on leave early and try to relax as much as possible. According to my midwife, having a baby at 36 weeks is safe but it has a few more complications that go along with it. Keep the baby in another week or two!

The realization that hit me last night is that if this baby really is close, I might miss out on some of the last minute things I had planned for March. Belly cast from hubby on Valentine's Day, family photos before birth, getting room set up how I wanted (this didn't matter to me the entire time even though I was collecting things...must be a nesting thing right now), and other little things I haven't checked off the list yet. I know it will all work itself out but now my priorities are changing from what is necessity and what is fun? Ok, go! Ay yay yah. My sister reminded me last night, after we celebrated her 30th birthday (had to document all of this because I don't journal except here and we have lots of big changes happening in our family right now as my sister is also preparing for a big move and I end the night with a momentous late night call), that this baby will come when he's ready and that he will be a totally different being than my Maggie. It's a wierd thought in some ways because I have no other frame of reference other than to compare this experience to Maggie's pregnancy, labor patterns, birth, and everything that followed and the differences are throwing me for a loop. I need a day to recoup :-)

Heartwarming Stories

I would love to share a local homebirth story I recently read from a friend of a friend (and it's a dad's perspective) whose wife birthed her second child with the midwives we are using. The story is to the point, hilarious, and right on. But it's not my story to share so, instead, I will share this blog post from a famous knitter who I think used to be a midwife or doula. I love what she states about the woman and how the experience prepares her and others in her life for parenthood.

3 months

Heard the healthy heartbeat and it was around 140 beats per minute. Boy? Maggie tricked the midwives last time, she was low too (150 is mid-range, 160 is high end). My fertility chart in terms of determining gender is inconclusive. We were too good and excited at timing that cycle just right to give us good information on whether it's a boy or girl. I can't decide whether I want to know the gender early or not. Hubby does but I see a form of magic in waiting until birth. The baby is the size of a lime and I need to post a picture to document my tummy at 3 months.

My heart goes out to my friends that are experiencing hardships with pregnancy. For every positive outcome, I hear the opposite and it breaks my heart. I also know that these are teaching experiences and part of life. Not every experience is sunshine and lollipops (as my hubby says) but we make it through and hopefully come out stronger/wiser in the end. I feel like I'm coming out of a dark emotional/hormonal period that was tough to get through and life resumes in a wonderful way.

Happy early birthday to my dad of 59 years and congrats to my sister-in-law in buying her first home. Today is the 1st day of fall and such a good sign of things to come.

Last of the Summer Days

Got the new haircut and love it. It's short and not a bob and was what I needed.

Pictures from July. I knew our family would be expanding this year so I wanted to capture some special moments of our family of 3. Our friend Bronwyn took them for us.

We're planning a second homebirth and this week marks our first appointment with our beloved midwives. I know they can't take away my nausea, but what they do provide is love and support and the extras, like doppler and listening to the baby.

At 12 weeks, one day I feel the same (sick with nausea), the next day I don't feel so bad (like today!). I hope this is a good sign that the end is near. I tried nausea medication but it seemed to work one day and not the next. So far with this pregnancy, I've felt pretty darn tired, have less patience for things on some days, and feel great adversions to food and much of the good stuff in life :-) It's been quite a teaching experience. Those teaching moments seem to come during the dark times.

With heading into the 2nd trimester, I'm looking forward to getting my diet/nutrition back on track and getting a little exercise. I think tonight hubby lucks out for once in a blue moon and dinner will be made!

Beach time and a hammock

Not long ago I spent some time on the coast with the ladies in my family. Snapping pics was the last thing on my mind, along with answering my cell phone, since we spent much of our time chasing after 1- and 2-year old little ladies who were constantly amusing eachother. Bedtime was especially hillarious, they were double trouble!

We ate good food, much of it vegetarian; toured the farmers market; ate brown butter cookies in large quantities; explored tidepools; took a boardwalk in the Elfin forest (where Maggie was a rock star and walked so much of it on her own); and relaxed in the beachhouse (scroll down a little) when we could find those rare moments.

All in all, a wonderful nuturing trip. Since I don't have beach pictures to share, here's one of Mags in our new backyard hammock. She's rockin' her "farrah fawcett" hairdo - as it gets warmer, her head is full of curls with little corkscrews at the back. Edited: my dad called after seeing this pic and said she looks like Richard Simmons. Too funny!

Our birth story

This post has been a long time coming. Lots of folks have wanted to hear our birth story and I'm happy to share it. I always envisioned sharing it on a blog at some point. I was just asked by my yoga instructor, who is also a Bradley teacher, to attend her birthing class and share my story. I am really looking forward to this. I have lots to share, so a warning that this might be a long read. Trust me though, it's good stuff.

After we bought our home last year, within a couple months we decided to try for a baby. I had been bugging Michael about it for years, quite unaware of what I was really asking for. He knew what it involved and kept putting me off with good reason. I have to say (and I know Michael would agree) that our niece Eden was the true inspiration. We had spent the previous 6 months falling in love with baby Eden and knew it was time to go for it ourselves and give Eden a little playmate. It didn't help that all of our close friends were having babies too. It just made sense. Funny thing is, when Michael told me he was ready, I looked at him, not expecting that to come out of his mouth, and went into shock, saying I of all people, needed to think on it :-)

I had, for the most part, a wonderful pregnancy. Morning sickness in the beginning but by the 2nd trimester, it was good going. Michael and I planned an attended home waterbirth. Unconventional but the right choice for us. Our midwives were amazing and looking back on everything, it was hands down one of the coolest experiences we've had yet, especially as a couple. Michael was there with me every step of the way through pregnancy and birth. Other homebirthers we knew prior to choosing this for ourselves were the Weston-Lees and the Fishers and both of their birth experiences were inspiring. Since Maggie's birth, we've met so many families that have taken the same path. It's quite an amazing community.

Maggie was born on March 15, 2009 in water at 10:43 am. She was 7 pounds 15 ounces and 20 3/4 inches long. We chose to not find out the gender during pregnancy, so when she came into the world, I was extremely suprised to see a little girl laying on my chest. I had been convinced she was a boy for many months and I even thought she was a boy for the first minute of her life until I checked! On my mom's side, we have not had any boys born into the family and count (at least) 14 women born in a row, 4 generations back. I had thought that in this year of change, I would have a boy but was proved otherwise.

Our birth was amazing. I chose to do it naturally and it was a very empowering experience for me. I had no idea really what giving birth was all about and now that I am on the other side, I can't believe I was that strong. I truly believe every woman has this strength in her and that you find it through these experiences. There aren't many like this in life and with that, I feel blessed to be a woman.

As for our birth details, my water broke first and then mild contractions started but only lasted for a few hours. We got a good night's sleep after that and spent the next day waiting for things to happen. I was 3 days past due at that point and our midwives wanted us to wait until the evening to do anything. By the evening, contractions had not started back up so I took castor oil, and blue and black cohosh to get labor going. We had not planned for any family to be present, but in the waiting period where I was praying for contractions to come on stronger, I asked my mom and sister to join us. My labor went through the night and into the morning and I think it was pretty typical from what I hear, not too long and not too short. It was very intense but by the time Maggie was born, it was over just like that. Everyone in the room was crying when she was born but I just looked at everyone with dry eyes, revelling at what I had just accomplished. Michael and I were both on a high after that, which lasted for a good couple days.

We had post-partum care with our midwives for the first 6 weeks of her life and that was invaluable. I would say the first 6 weeks were the toughest for me, with the sharp learning curve in becoming a parent, learning how to nurse and being on demand 24/7, and getting little blocks of sleep. Everyone told me three months was the magical number and I think they are right. Maggie is just about three months old and she has really come into her own. She is developing such a personality and just looks up at you with those long eyelashes and blinking eyes, making my heart melt every time.

I am treasuring every day I have with her. I'm fond of the baby stage, but Michael is very excited for her to be a year old and beyond. We both love being parents in our own ways.