Frustrated

One of my crafty New Year's resolutions was to sell my spinning wheel...but truth be told, I'm having a hard time letting go of Lolita. I have been waffling on whether to sell her for over a year, maybe longer. I've owned her for a few years and have never fully spun a useable skein of yarn on the wheel, yet many of my friends have. Go figure.

My friend just returned the wheel to me so that I can sell it and I was looking at it last night, so quiet in the corner, and can't bring myself to be ok with getting rid of it. I keep thinking that I will take it up and join my friends but I know myself and I would probably just keep moving it around the house looking at it since it's cute but not do anything with it since I have knitting patterns coming out of my ears - so many that I want to knit in the months to come that with chasing after my mogly-crawling baby I will maybe get a few things knit and not much else done. I know I talk about this subject a lot (not having enough time) and many times I tell myself I sound like a broken record but its just how I feel a lot.

I love my knitting group and the same girls who go to spin nite but spinning just isn't for me. So I kind of feel like an outsider right now and it bothers me because I love being in the thick of things :-) The other thing that has been bothering me is how I haven't progressed in my knitting skills as fast as some of the other experienced knitters in our group. I know I'm being hard on myself because I have progressed but it's hard for me to see it when I've been moving so slowly. I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself with everything though - work, parenting, and in my craft projects - and I am constantly recognizing that and trying to give myself some slack.

I was thinking on a recent snow trip about a recurring dream of mine to live in the mountains, but hubby isn't fond of the idea. It occurred to me that if I can't live there, I could buy a cabin. Hubby was much fonder of that idea (actually excited) so then I made the resolution that I would sell my wheel (one dream passing) and put that money toward the new dream of owning a cabin in the woods. When I think about that becoming a reality for our family, it makes me really happy so I think I need to go with this. I like the idea of trading one thing in for another, something about it seems poetic.

Ok, I feel better now. Here is to everyone else's New Year's resolutions. Good luck!