It takes a village

I have heard this phrase before (Hillary Clinton?) and then I was reading my local parenting mag and there was a good story about a couple raising kids in Sacramento while also pursuing their dreams of running a restaurant. The author was talking about how she and her husband take turns being with the kids while one of them is running the restaurant and when they are both busy, their parents help out.

My life has drastically changed since I became a mom. Before becoming pregnant and being what I think was footloose and fancy free, I was often itching to get out of town or move somewhere new, yearning for new experiences. Not that I don't still yearn for those things, but that desire has been calmed in becoming a mom, which is something I wanted after meeting my husband.

I am thankful for many things I did not cherish to the fullest before having children. One of the biggies is being surrounded by family. I have always been very close to my family and my husband to his and for as long as we dated, we made efforts to spend holidays, birthdays, and Sunday nights together with family. However, sometimes I felt overwhelmed by it all and wanted more freedom, less ties.

I have come to learn how valuable it is to be close with family and it has really given me a new appreciation for what our parents sacrified in raising us. Sacrifices that come with raising childen can be many, including career changes, money going different places and sometimes not making what you used to, travelling different or less, relationships more work, and it probably goes on.

I have sometimes felt torn between wanting to be a stay-at-home mom in my mind or whether it would benefit me to work outside of the home. For me, this wasn't a hard choice to make since I knew I was going to go back to work but what I was lucky with was being able to map out my own plan. Taking a long maternity leave and working part-time has been ideal. I have struggled in the past with the fact that I spent most of my twenties building my career and then I felt like with making the decision to have children it also meant dealing with pressure about continuing a career. I happen to love my job and I have been lucky to find a nice balance.

Working brings me many joys: friends, field work, accomplishments, money, and free time for myself. I'm not sure I could list the joys of being a mom because they are too numerous but on the other side of that, being home all day, everyday, is not really my cup of tea.

Which brings me back to why it takes a village to raise a child. Our family is very involved in Maggie's life. All of her care is provided in our home by our family. The constant contact with family takes organization, but I'm good at that, and it has really enriched my family relationships. That and Maggie loves her family and you can see it in her face when a family member walks in the door. She is learning more than I could teach her on my own and I am happy for that. I hope that the decisions I'm making in our life now are ones that will have a lasting positive impact for the future.